Thursday, January 17, 2013

Taking Time to Listen


Last Saturday (January 12th) I was walking down Talbot Street in Dublin when I was beckoned to stop by one of those religious ‘enthusiasts’ that you see from time to time. I had a few minutes to kill, so I decided what the hell? (I am aware of the ironic choice of wording) and stopped to talk to him.

For those of you who aren't aware of my religious standpoint, I consider myself to be agnostic. While I do recognise the work that science has done in the expansion of our knowledge of the universe, I believe that there are aspects of the religious argument that it will never be able to disprove. Digression aside, I chose (in the conversation on Talbot Street) to neither hide my own beliefs nor attempt to argue for them with him. He was there to present his standpoint and I allowed him to do so.

Now, there were a number of points he made that I found dubious and ill presented, and others that I have heard refutations for before (Pascal’s Wager for one) but again, rather than challenging him, I took it on board and promised I’d consider what he said. Toward the end of our conversation he recommended a number of books to me regarding his argument, one of which I have actually picked up today, and provided me with an email address to contact him.

To once again digress from the main point of this post; I've had the last two weeks booked off work and I’d been considering doing something “different” this week – something I wouldn't usually do. Prior to this I thought it would be something outdoorsy (rock-climbing, hiking etc.) but this intellectual pursuit might actually turn out to be it.

On point; we’re so used to ignoring or arguing with people who don’t share our exact ideas and values these days. I don’t know what I’ll get out of this, but at the very least I've stopped, listened and given someone else the chance to make an influence on my life.  

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Expansion on a Though


Before going to bed last night, I felt compelled to leave the waking work with a tweet

Okay, one last thought/question. Does #addiction challenge a negative or chase a positive?

At this juncture I just want to clarify what I mean (and use more than 140 characters to do so.) A crux of addiction, and it’s treatment as a psychical issue, is the question of whether the addiction fills a void for the addict or whether it offers a state of advanced pleasure (or orgasm) that can be achieved only through abuse of a certain substance or activity.

On the outside there are similarities in both positions – the addict seeks to use their addiction to obtain something – something to fill the void or something to give them pleasure. However, their differences are far more worrying.

For the addict who abuses to fill a void there is only despair or ‘normality’ (an imperfect term but something most aim toward.) That which is abused offers only to stabilise that which is already broken. As such, treatment of such an addict must surely centre on what is causing the void in the first place.

Conversely, if the addiction is the method by which the addict achieves excitation/nirvana/orgasm then it must be treated in a manner that recognises this. In such cases might we not instead try to understand why the specific addiction was chosen (perhaps not consciously) and focus treatment around this?

I hope that in some way helps decipher the ideas running through my head when I posted that tweet.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Taking Charge

When does doing something for yourself stop being walking away and start becoming doing what's right for yourself? Today, or more specifically over the past week, I made the decision to cut my ties to the local football team. Since the end of last year, I've found myself getting an increased workload within both the player rep. and webmaster positions, even though I only took up the former for an interim, that was to last only as far as the club AGM (which seems to be getting pushed back and back.) It was always my intention to give up the position at that point, but I've been stuck with an extra workload that I neither need, nor want.

On top of that, I've had the past week off work and I hoped to spend the time relaxing so I informed the club that I'b be taking the week off from football related things as well - those who read my last posting will know ho I've been looking forward to the week off. Instead, I received numerous texts and emails over the week with a "get this done now" vibe that I didn't appreciate in the slightest.

The result? I've cut down on the things I need to get done, which should improve my mental health. ;-) Also, got accepted into the MA course I wanted to do. Things are coming up roses.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Kicking Back

Over the last week or two I've started to feel particularly stressed about a number of issues. Firstly, college has been on my back to get some documents in to them regarding my application for an MA that I want to do. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not top of my to do list, but what's stalling me was the waiting for references to come back from the people I asked for them. That issue finally drew to it's conclusion today, so I'll be bringing all that in to Dublin tomorrow.

A second element, that has been stressing me out, is work. It's not the job itself - believe me, I've had worse - it's just the manner of what's happening. I've been with the company for a little over six years now (how time flies) and over that time I've ensured that I was well versed in the varying aspects of my position. Unfortunately, there are others who aren't so enthusiastic. Instead of getting these people to put more into their job, it seems that management is quite happy to let me pick up the slack. On Saturday gone, I was rostered a 7am-7pm shift (which turned into a 7-7:30) while one of my colleagues was rostered with me from 8am-7pm but was allowed to leave at 7 on the dot and a second colleague worked 1pm-7pm. This is not the first occasion on which I've been held back when working twelve/thirteen hour shifts while others just leave me to get on my own. And all management do is bemoan the fact that there's only one staff member left rather than try to stop them from leaving.

Lastly, and most annoyingly of all, my feelings (or rather the manner in which I express such feelings) for an ex-girlfriend, are really starting to bother me. Have you ever found yourself sending a text, or making a fecebook comment even while thinking I shouldn't be doing this...why am I doing this? Well that's the way it's been for me since November, something I've been ashamed to admit, even to myself, for some time.

On a positive note, as I eluded to above, I've gotten the references for college sorted so that's the first issue sorted. I'm also on a week off work so until next Monday (at the earliest) I wont have to worry about that dragging me down. And finally, I've decided to cut all ties with that ex-girlfriend so hopefully I won't be making a fool of myself any time soon.

Also, PlayStation Vita is out on Wednesday - SWOOP!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Picnic

In your arms the stars shine brighter,
A celestial kaleidoscope of hopes and dreams.
Nearby Bluebells chime their eternal chorus
Under the warm caress of a light spring breeze.

As you pull me closer your scent fills the air
And the heavens play their show on the back of closed eyelids.
Joy is here, with you, ‘midst nature’s brilliant show
Your strength, your being - definitive solace.

Heavily, or perhaps heavenly, my head rests on your chest
And the beating of your heart draws sleep to my mind.
Behind closed eyes I smile in celebration of what we share,
Here, on the hillside among the many wonders of life.

My breath slows, welcoming the imminent peace
And my sense of smell heightens to the world.
An aroma of flowers and of you, of all nature’s scents
Fills me with peace, with harmony and with pleasure.

I Love You
Hold Me
Tight

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Oxboxer

Apart from the obviously awesome username, Oxboxer over at tumblr has some great images that I came across this morning. Check them out! First though, here are some excellent Skyrim/Valentine's images.






Friday, February 10, 2012

WOW! It's been quite some time since I last updated this blog. I can't say that much has changed for me in the months between this post and my last though. I've taken up American football over here in Ireland with my local team Drogheda Lightning. Everything's been going well for the organisation thus far, and I hope I can say the same in a year's time.

On an educational front, I've picked up a H-Dip in Psychoanalytic Studies, a continuation from my BA studies. While the course only lasted a year, I found it much more enjoyable than my previous degree. I've recently applied for and MA in Addiction Studies, with the prospect of going from there into an MA in Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, meaning that my two year plan is very much set.